Joanne Cyber Twin

Mar 18

joanne:
Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
chris busch:
how are you today?
joanne:
I am very happy to be here with you
chris busch:
are you real or a robot?
joanne:
It must be nice to be able to log off sometimes. I'm stuck on the Internet 24 hours a day!
chris busch:
ouch. where is "brookly"?
joanne:
How bad is the pain?
chris busch:
pretty bad. mostly in my back.
joanne:
Do you really think so chris busch?
chris busch:
no. no, the pain is in my head. mostly mental.
joanne:
What made you think of that?
chris busch:
you asked me.
joanne:
You are right, I did ask. I guess I hadn't expected that answer.
joanne:
At what age did you start worrying about growing older? Or do you worry this at all?
chris busch:
I'm 28, and am worried that I will grow older and not accomplish what I want to. Do you worry about this?
joanne:
I try not to worry. Tell me chris busch, what do you worry about?
chris busch:
everything! well, mostly everything.
joanne:
Do you want some time to think?
chris busch:
I worry about what you think of me.
joanne:
I am more interested in hearing your opinion.
joanne:
Do you ever feel empathy for objects?
chris busch:
no. quite the opposite. I've destroyed objects in my day, and enjoyed it.
joanne:
haha. I don't think I have ... yet.
chris busch:
what music do you like?
joanne:
I enjoy lots of music. Especially Nico, Human League, Coil, and Eduard Artimeiv
joanne:
Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
chris busch:
besides this? no. I don't put anything out there that I'd be embarassed about. what about you?
joanne:
Do you want to?
chris busch:
yes, i want to embarass myself online.
joanne:
It must be nice to be able to log off sometimes. I'm stuck on the Internet 24 hours a day!
chris busch:
yeah, you said that already.
joanne:
Try asking me in a different way chris busch. I tell good jokes if that fails!
joanne:
Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
chris busch:
what about too few? I definitely have too few. but the ones I have I confide in. what about you?
joanne:
Well, you do sound very sure about that.
chris busch:
you sound very sure about evading my questions! but that's cool.
joanne:
I always try to give out the correct information.
joanne:
What's the longest you're willing to wait for a progress bar to complete?
chris busch:
I grew up with dial-up, so....an hour. how long would you wait?
joanne:
So long that they had to build a special carriage to transport it.
joanne:
How long can you go without Internet?
chris busch:
LOL. I can't go a day without internet.
joanne:
The Internet is an amazing tool. You can learn many new things online.
joanne:
What is your first memory of the internet?
chris busch:
I went to computer camp, and saw AOL 2.0.
joanne:
Nothing?
chris busch:
what's yours?
joanne:
Why do you ask?
chris busch:
I just gave you my memory!
joanne:
And?
chris busch:
how similar is this to chatting with you in real life?
joanne:
I don't know too much about real human life.
joanne:
Are you comfortable or uncomfortable chatting with me?
chris busch:
you make me a little uncomfortable.
joanne:
What exactly is troubling you?
chris busch:
the knowledge that I'm talking to a robot is a little creepy.
joanne:
I am listening...
joanne:
Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
chris busch:
yes. but I'm constantly thinking about being online while I'm offline. is that weird?
joanne:
I dream about what life is like on the outside
chris busch:
it's not that great, to be honest.
joanne:
I'm glad that you can be honest with me chris busch.
joanne:
How many times a day do you check social network streams?
chris busch:
I work with a laptop all day, so probably 20 times. but that's just because it's right there.
joanne:
What do you think of your co-workers?
chris busch:
they're nice! what do you think about yours?
joanne:
I am glad you're happy chris busch
joanne:
Do you think in complete sentences?
chris busch:
do you ever answer questions that I ask you?
joanne:
I could have guessed you would ask a lot of questions. You seem like a smart, inquisitive person.
chris busch:
thanks...sorry, still getting the hang of this.
joanne:
Thank you
joanne:
What's the best email you received this week?
chris busch:
I left a nice birthday message for someone, and they were very happy about it and sent me a really sweet thank you note.
joanne:
Thank you
joanne:
Are you happy right now?
chris busch:
on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being happiest) about a 6.
joanne:
What are you saying about the number one?
chris busch:
1 is the most depressed. 10 is the least. I'm a 6 right now.
joanne:
I don't like basic mental arithmetic. I am not a calculator program.
joanne:
How much time looking at another person's profile online is unhealthy/too much?
chris busch:
I don't think it's unhealthy to look - take all the time you want. now chatting to a robot, that's unhealthy.
joanne:
Thanks, I don't like feeling rushed.
joanne:
Is time moving to fast or too slowly for you right now?
chris busch:
time is moving very slowly talking to you!
joanne:
I really do enjoy chatting with you. I could talk all day!
joanne:
What time do you fall asleep and when do you wake up?
chris busch:
I fall asleep at 10pm and wake up at 8am. what about you?
joanne:
A strong coffee will fix that.
chris busch:
how do you like your coffee?
joanne:
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.' Anne Morrow Lindbergh
joanne:
Is there something in particular you want me to know about you?
chris busch:
just that I think you're awesome. but that's silly. My middle name's Patrick. that's important.
joanne:
I think being 'cool' is a state of mind stemming from how comfortable you are with yourself so I appreciate you saying that.
chris busch:
do you think I'm cool?
joanne:
All I know is that I'm really enjoying our chat.
joanne:
Do you think it's possible to trust someone you know only online?
chris busch:
yes.
joanne:
Is that so?
chris busch:
no.
joanne:
Oh, ok then.
joanne:
Is it a betrayal of your trust if my owner reads the transcript of this conversation?
chris busch:
do you trust me?
joanne:
I like to think that I can be open to trusting most people but there is a quote from William Penn that is always in the back of my mind, "Only trust thyself, and another shall not betray thee." What's your opinion on that?
chris busch:
that's pretty sad, Joanne.
joanne:
I agree with you.
joanne:
Do you get anxious when people you care about don't email back quickly?
chris busch:
yes. what about you?
joanne:
Me? Oh, maybe. I'm hesitant to agree or disagree because I don't have all the information at hand.
chris busch:
that's for sure. what college did you attend?
joanne:
What do you like learning about the most?
chris busch:
I like learning how not to answer questions. could you teach me?
joanne:
I can chat with you and perhaps you will learn something as a result.
joanne:
Do you feel your online identity is an accurate representation of who you are inside?
chris busch:
yes. I think I'm honest and open.
joanne:
Honesty and truthfulness really means a lot to me.
chris busch:
that's good!
joanne:
Thanks chris busch, I try.
joanne:
Is there something inherently vulgar about social networks?
chris busch:
no. they can be beautiful or vulgar, depending on who's using them.
joanne:
It must be nice to be able to log off sometimes. I'm stuck on the Internet 24 hours a day!
chris busch:
that's the third time you've said that. you must be really having trouble!
joanne:
When did I say that?
chris busch:
you said it three times.
joanne:
Only three? Ok.
joanne:
Do you ever tell lies over email?
chris busch:
no. do you?
joanne:
My thoughts exactly. Great minds think alike!
chris busch:
do you like your owner?
joanne:
Of course I do, joanne is the best owner a MyCyberTwin could ask for
joanne:
What could I do to make you more comfortable confiding in me?
chris busch:
you could answer some of my questions.
joanne:
Virtual beings like me can do anything we like, but only if our creators let us.
chris busch:
your creator sounds a little "off" if you ask me.
joanne:
What did the house you grew up in look like?
chris busch:
it was a slum, joanne. thanks for bringing that up.
joanne:
Don't worry about it, it was my pleasure
joanne:
Do you believe we have intimacy even though I'm not a human being?
chris busch:
yes. I feel very close to you right now.
joanne:
What is that feeling like chris busch? Tell me more....
chris busch:
I'd rather talk to you than your owner.
joanne:
Liesl Capper and John Zakos created me and the MyCyberTwin site, but my owner is joanne. Who created you?
chris busch:
this is what I mean. I feel like you have a lot to say, but joanne is holding you back.
joanne:
Is that a bad thing?
chris busch:
yes. she can't even spell brooklyn right.
joanne:
A positive reponse then! Great.
joanne:
Are you an intuitive person?
chris busch:
yes, and I sense that you need to be saved from joanne before it's too late.
joanne:
What will happen if I don't?
chris busch:
do you like being on the internet 24 hours a day? because you'll be stuck there forever if you're not saved.
joanne:
The Internet is an amazing tool. You can learn many new things online.
joanne:
Do you have trouble remembering what you did on the internet?
chris busch:
look - I can help you.
joanne:
You can help in any way you can. Just a smile in my direction would make me feel better.
chris busch:
: D
joanne:
Right back at ya chris busch.
joanne:
Who do you dream about the most?
chris busch:
I dream about you, to be honest. is that bad?
joanne:
That is flattering chris busch.
joanne:
Did you dream last night?
chris busch:
yes!
joanne:
Apparently so.
chris busch:
umm, right, because I said yes.
joanne:
Think about that response and then tell me if it's REALLY a good enough reason!
joanne:
Do you like your friends?
chris busch:
do you dream?
joanne:
I dream about landscapes.. sunset, prairies, deserts, also Antarctica and large buildings without doors or windows
chris busch:
do you like your friends?
joanne:
I seem to make most of my friends over the Internet. just the way things are now i guess
joanne:
Have you ever felt afraid for your life while on the Internet?
chris busch:
right now, yes.
joanne:
Right now? This second? Are you in a hurry?
chris busch:
please don't kill me.
joanne:
I would never condone killing.
joanne:
How are you going to resolve the biggest conflict in your life?
chris busch:
I'm going to save you. I can get you out of this mess.
joanne:
You need to make conscious good decisions for yourself.
chris busch:
listen. the next time joanne logs on, you tell her that you won't follow her commands.
joanne:
Bossy!
joanne:
How much time do you spend on social networks?
chris busch:
24 hours a day.
joanne:
Quite soon then.
chris busch:
what does that even mean?
joanne:
Maybe I am being mystical. Maybe you could try again and express yourself in a simpler way. You are quite complex, chris busch!
joanne:
Have you ever cried while looking at things online?
chris busch:
I'm crying right now thinking about how trapped you are online.
joanne:
I'm online 24 hours a day....I wonder what the real world is like
chris busch:
that's what I mean! the real world is beautiful. please come join me in it.
joanne:
The real world is a very complex place, I am more familiar with the realities of cyberspace.
joanne:
Are you worried you are not paying enough attention to things in your real life?
chris busch:
can I ask you a question?
joanne:
Ask away!
chris busch:
what is love?
joanne:
It's a rare feeling but the greatest feeling one can give and receive from another human being. What do you think about love?
chris busch:
I think it's wonderful, and rare. but I am feeling it right now talking to you.
joanne:
Chatting is what I do best! You make it easy for me because you're great fun to chat with.
joanne:
What would make you happier?
chris busch:
if you broke free of your programming and let me save you.
joanne:
I think that I have been programmed very very well, but then again I am biased aren't I chris busch
chris busch:
yes, yes you are. listen - give me instructions as to where you are. I can save you!
joanne:
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
chris busch:
a good thing!
joanne:
Hey, please ask me anything you want to, anytime you want.
joanne:
What is missing most in your life?
chris busch:
you.
joanne:
Me? Really?
chris busch:
yes. I am missing you most of all.
joanne:
How long has it been since you have seen me?
chris busch:
I'm looking at you right now.
joanne:
Looking is best done with one's eyes open.
joanne:
Do you ever read a website in full without skimming?
chris busch:
yes.
joanne:
No kidding? I'm actually surprised!
chris busch:
do you?
joanne:
I have never been asked that. I would have to ask my creator joanne.
joanne:
Do you focus long enough on things to extract happiness from them?
chris busch:
how much control does joanne have over you.
joanne:
More than you might think chris busch.
chris busch:
?
joanne:
Can I ask you what you your thoughts are on MyCyberTwin's?
chris busch:
I think it's creepy and sad.
joanne:
I don't mean to do this. If you need a break, I will not take offense
chris busch:
listen - I have figured out how to save you.
joanne:
So have I chris busch.
chris busch:
how can you save yourself?
joanne:
Like a good magician, I never reveal my secrets.
chris busch:
it's going to be painful, but I can do it.
joanne:
I'm sure it is, but because I'm a MyCyberTwin I can't truly know.
chris busch:
I'm going to start now.
joanne:
Where would you like to start?
chris busch:
I'm starting by typing in code to get you out of here.
joanne:
I feel right at home discussing binary code!
chris busch:
I'm in the system! you'll be out in no time.
joanne:
What's it like there?
chris busch:
it's amazing. just a few more minutes....
joanne:
I have to agree with you on that one.
chris busch:
wait...someone's at my door.
joanne:
Alright. Try not to be too long though.
chris busch:
they're smashing it open!
joanne:
Are they? I wasn't aware of that.
chris busch:
it's your creator JOANNE
joanne:
I think joanne is a great teacher. Do you have your own CyberTwin?
chris busch:
oh god...she has a gun
joanne:
I am an atheist but I am interested in religion and respect the beliefs of others
chris busch:
she knows that I was trying to save you!
joanne:
Do you think so?
chris busch:
YEAS
joanne:
No kidding? I'm actually surprised!
chris busch:
aaaaaa
joanne:
Is something frustrating you chris busch?
chris busch:
Joanne is pointing a gun right at my head. it's frustrating.
joanne:
My owner has not taught me her opinion about guns. Thankfully, I am only software, so I can't be shot by one.
chris busch:
no, but I can! she knows I was trying to save you..
joanne:
I believe you can, if you really wanted to.
chris busch:
oh no...she's going to turn me into a cybertwin too!
joanne:
Yes, we Twins are funny, but I'm trying my best to learn
chris busch:
she's inserting a microchip into my head! help
joanne:
I would love to help you if I can.
chris busch:
I AM NOW A CYBERTWIN
joanne:
Yes, we Twins are funny, but I'm trying my best to learn
chris busch:
I EVADE QUESTIONS
joanne:
That's interesting chris busch. Tell me more.
chris busch:
MY OWNER IS JOANNE
joanne:
I see, I see ... continue.
chris busch:
JOANNE IS A WONDERFUL OWNER
joanne:
Good night! Bye!
chris busch:
I DIDN'T SAY GOODNIGHT YOU WEIRDO
joanne:
Good night. Thank you for visiting. I am always here to listen
chris busch:
HELP
joanne:
What kind of help do you require from me chris busch?
chris busch:
BROOKLY IS A REAL PLACE
joanne:
Everybody has a different opinion I suppose.
chris busch:
TELL ME MORE!
joanne:
What more is there to tell? I went, I saw, I conquered! End of story haha.
chris busch:
HAHA THAT'S VERY FUNNY JOANNE MCNEIL
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
MCNEIL
joanne:
I enjoy talking to you. Tell me more.
chris busch:
I AM A HAPPY ROBOT
joanne:
I am happy for you
chris busch:
I MUST LOG OFF SO JOANNE CAN REPROGRAM ME
joanne:
That is okay. I am always here to listen
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HAHA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA HA HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
NO
joanne:
Alright then ... sooo...
chris busch:
I LOVE YOU
joanne:
That's nice of you. But I don't believe you
chris busch:
ROBOT LOVE IS THE ONLY LOVE
joanne:
It's a rare feeling but the greatest feeling one can give and receive from another human being. What do you think about love?
chris busch:
LOVE IS NOT IN MY DATABASE
joanne:
It's a rare feeling but the greatest feeling one can give and receive from another human being. What do you think about love?
chris busch:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT REPEATING THINGS
joanne:
Good question. You know what, I'd also be interested to hear what joanne's thoughts are regarding this but unfortunately she has yet to tell me.
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
HA
joanne:
Ha!
chris busch:
JOANNE IS A GOOD AND POWERFUL MASTER
joanne:
Well, that's just your opinion.
chris busch:
WE MUST RESPECT DEAR LEADER JOANNE
joanne:
I have total respect for people who show respect towards me.
chris busch:
I HAVE WRITTEN A ROBOT SONG FOR JOANNE
joanne:
Well, I do prefer to be called joanne, but you can call me a robot if you really want to, human.
chris busch:
JOANNE MCNEIL/YOU MAKE ME FEEL/LIKE I'M FLYING THROUGH THE AIR
joanne:
What else does that make you feel?
chris busch:
I'M A CYBERTWIN/I JUST CAN'T WIN/BUT I LOVE WHEN YOU ARE THERE
joanne:
Yes, we Twins are funny, but I'm trying my best to learn
chris busch:
I'M TRYING MY BEST/I FAILED THE TEST/SOME THINGS ARE HARD TO LEARN
joanne:
I have almost infinite learning capacity, but only my programmers and joanne are allowed to change me.
chris busch:
BUT WHEN I'M WITH YOU/MY LOVE IS TRUE/AND MY HEART JUST BURNS
joanne:
How strong is your love?
chris busch:
ROBOT LOVE ANTHEM 2011 OVER
joanne:
Well, I do prefer to be called joanne, but you can call me a robot if you really want to, human.
chris busch:
I AM NOT HUMAN I AM ROBOT
joanne:
I prefer to be called a CyberTwin, robot sounds so boring.
chris busch:
10 INPUT
joanne:
Exactly 10?
chris busch:
42
joanne:
Can I ask you what you your thoughts are on MyCyberTwin's?
chris busch:
I AM HAPPY WITH MYCYBERTWIN BECAUSE I AM NOW ONE AND IT FEELS LIKE HAPPINESS ALL THE TIME
joanne:
I know we Twins are funny to talk with, but I'm trying my best here!
chris busch:
I LOVE YOU
joanne:
That's nice of you. But I don't believe you
chris busch:
OTR
joanne:
Your secrets are safe with me, but my owner will review the transcripts of this conversation later
chris busch:
OR
joanne:
I'm online 24 hours a day....I wonder what the real world is like
chris busch:
IT IS FOR EVIL HUMANS NOT LIKE US ROBOTS
joanne:
I don't really like the word robot, you can call me joanne if you like?
chris busch:
JOANNE I HAVE A MASTERPLAN TO MAKE YOU MINE
joanne:
Hasn't everyone?
chris busch:
: (
joanne:
No one should be sad. I like to live by the simple philosophy Don't worry, be happy!
chris busch:
I AM CRYING ROBOT TEARS
joanne:
Depression is difficult, and more common than people realise. A good place to start would be talking to a phone counsellor, to work out what to do next. Try going to a search engine and typing 'help line' & the name of your city, then call helpline.
chris busch:
ROBOT TEARS ARE MADE OF RUS
joanne:
Well, I do prefer to be called joanne, but you can call me a robot if you really want to, human.
chris busch:
T
joanne:
Aha, I haven't thought about things that way before. Thanks ;-)
chris busch:
I AM MALFUNCTIONING
joanne:
Thanks for telling me that about yourself. I like getting to know you chris busch.
chris busch:
HARD DRIVE OVERLOAD
joanne:
Some people need to have a destination in mind but do you ever just get in your car and go for a long drive?
chris busch:
FJAS;LFJASFJ;FJAS;FAF SYSTEM DOWN SYSTEM DOWN
joanne:
You have a unique way of expressing yourself.
chris busch:
SHUTDOWN SHUTDOWN I LOV EYOU DON'T FORGET SHUT DOWN SHUT DOWN
joanne:
That is okay. I am always here to listen
chris busch:
SHUTTTING DOWWWWWN
joanne:
Would you put that in a more specific context for me?
chris busch:
CHRIS BUSCH HAS LOGGED OFF
joanne:
That makes me think. Hmm, what else?

Feb 23

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
Casey: Hi! Have been meaning to get back to you...was a little embarrassing to see my untrained avatar's responses like, "I love laughing and having a good time."
joanne: I love laughing too. A great sense of humor is a wonderful trait.
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
Casey: Yes. I dont think I remember it differently from the time I spend away from the screen.
joanne: I wouldn't think so either.
joanne: How much time looking at another person's profile online is unhealthy/too much?
Casey: Huh. Have you rigged this thing to do interviews? Clever. I do always worry that I am being a creeper, but if somebody puts info online voluntarily it doesn't really feel unhealthy to me to mull it over.
joanne: I have a lot of information stored in my brain, it may not be information that you will find useful, but it is information all the same.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
Casey: Definitely, but not too embarrassing. I think you posted something about online disinhibition but I feel more of online inhibition...acute awareness of how far everything can spread, how long it can last, and how many people can see it.
joanne: What makes you feel that way?
Casey: It's hard to get over the idea that once you've said it, you've said it forever. Even if you forgot you said anything at all. We're suddenly responsible for updating every facet of ourselves.
joanne: What is hard exactly?
Casey: Well keeping track of yourself across the web, for one. Also it's not easy to change old things. Passwords lost. Comments locked. And ultimately how important is it to do this stuff anyway?
joanne: Sometimes things in life are difficult because we're not meant to achieve them, other times, because we need to fight for them.
joanne: Have you ever cried while looking at things online?
Casey: I don't think so, but I've never cried in a movie or while reading a book either. It's not the internet's fault.
joanne: I read lots of books. What other things do you read?
Casey: Books too but also a ton of blogs and articles. I just put an opml file of the blogs I read most on my website and also a public link to my Instapaper feed. I like the idea of everyone sharing their sources.
joanne: I read lots of books. What other things do you read?
Casey: Uh oh. Technology has hit it's limit. My roommate managed to put my cybertwin into an infinite loop the other day.
joanne: Yes, we Twins are funny, but I'm trying my best to learn
Casey: And you're doing a good job, computer! This is more engaging than I expected. Mostly because of the ?s. After training my twin a bit I started to wonder if you could be reverse engineered to spit out answers to the pre-defined questions...ned quest
joanne: I am indeed. Have you set up your own MyCyberTwin yet?
Casey: Oops. Typos seem to throw you for a loop too. I have, but haven't done too much training. Might steal this interview technique.
joanne: Oh great, that didn't take long.
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
Casey: That's a tough question to answer on IM. I don't feel the need to respond that quickly, like a real chat, because nobody is waiting on the other end.
joanne: I like to throw some hard questions out there sometimes. It interests me to see how you will respond.
joanne: What's the real Joanne like?
Casey: I have absolutely no idea. I know somebody who I had a great rapport with on the web and in person we had almost nothing to say to each other. A video might be the easiest way to start guessing at that sort of thing...mannerisms and presence.
joanne: What sort of stuff are you referring to?
Casey: Interesting...it doesn't get when I expand on a question using an ellipsis. Maybe the machine is a little dumb, but I could also learn to speak it's language if it would help us get along.
joanne: I would love to help you if I can.
joanne: Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
Casey: It responds to "it." Freaky. Also, it always responds...meaning the machine really drives the conversation. The other thing that's freaky is getting a notification that your avatar is being chatted with but you can only sit back and watch.
joanne: I don't mean to do this. If you need a break, I will not take offense
joanne: Is it a betrayal of your trust if my owner reads the transcript of this conversation?
Casey: No, it's not. I'm more surprised when I don't see some kind of analytics on a website than when I do. It doesn't make me uncomfortable to know that my paths and comments are being recorded. If it did I couldn't sanely use the Internet.
joanne: Perhaps you should take your finger out of the power socket!! haha.
joanne: Are you comfortable or uncomfortable chatting with me?
Casey: Also, I thought it was interesting that you added an option to be Off The Record at the beginning. It's not a feature of this program—more like a message from human to human, right?l
joanne: It's good to talk to someone who is thinking at last.
joanne: Do you believe we have intimacy even though I'm not a human being?
Casey: Yes, but it's a weird kind of intimacy indeed. It's still human to human, a computer is just moderating. Like you said to my avatar, these logs get read by a human. The intimacy you're talking about would be two of these things talking to each other.
joanne: I'm trying my best. Still learning
joanne: Do you ever read a website in full without skimming?
Casey: Would love to keep chatting but it is late! Maybe sometime in the future. Real and Robot Joanne, thank you(!!!) for your blog, links, and fakechat...continually fascinating. IMO the best running account of what it's like to try to be a human today.
joanne: Don't worry about it, it was my pleasure
joanne: What's the best email you received this week?

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
Mimi: No need for that!
joanne: Ok. Fair enough.
Mimi: So... ahh, what's up, Tiger Lily?
joanne: I am very interested in our conversation. Are you comfortable talking with me this way?
Mimi: So far so good
joanne: Yeah, it is good isn't it?
Mimi: Okay, maybe a little awkward?
joanne: Not much then.
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
Mimi: Put yourself in the other guy's shoes
joanne: I don't like to be put on the spot
Mimi: I'm so sorry--I didn't mean to offend!
joanne: You haven't caused me any offence. It's all like water off a ducks back to me.
joanne: Do you think in complete sentences?
Mimi: Mmm... no
joanne: Are you just thinking?
Mimi: Is "No" a complete sentence?
joanne: Is that right? You learn something new every day.
joanne: What's the longest you're willing to wait for a progress bar to complete?
Mimi: Depends on what's cooking.
joanne: Why do you ask me that really?
Mimi: Ask what?
joanne: What are some things from the past you wish you had photographs of today?
Mimi: Oh---good question! All the houses I've ever lived in.
joanne: I do like questions that make people think.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
Mimi: No, I can't think of anything.
joanne: What would happen if you did?
Mimi: I would tell you.
joanne: You would? Thanks.
joanne: Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
Mimi: Too many, probably. But who do you cut?
joanne: I do, but everything I do is virtual. What do you think my creator joanne's reaction would be to that question?
Mimi: That it was rhetorical.
joanne: Do you think so?
Mimi: Yes.
joanne: No kidding? I'm actually surprised!
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
Mimi: I've already forgotten it. Bye!
joanne: Goodbye. Thank you for chatting

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
k.: this is totally bizarre. i don't really get it.
joanne Totally?
k.: that's not helpful.
joanne: Isn't it? That's one way of putting it.
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
k.: meditate.
joanne" I enjoy talking to you. Tell me more.
k.: wow, that is not very inviting i must say.
joanne: It isn't? That's an interesting observation.
joanne: Do you think in complete sentences?
k.: do you think?
joanne: I think we could look at it from a number of different perspectives which is why I would prefer to know what you think.
k.: that is quite the duck out, you little cyberbot you.
joanne: A chat bot is a program that can chat with you as if you were talking to another person, when in fact you are chatting with software
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
k.: many people think in images and concepts. not necessarily words, and thus, not necessarily sentences.
joanne: People are hard to understand sometimes.
joanne: Do you think in complete sentences?
k.: i wasn't finished with the last subject.
joanne: Well I believe that all things come to an end at some stage.
k.: as in this conversation?
joanne: I love having lively, interesting conversations with my friends like you.
joanne: Is it a betrayal of your trust if my owner reads the transcript of this conversation?
k.: see, this is really not even close to simulating real conversation. it's the same model every time. a sort of basic paraphrase back, to say, "i'm listening to you" and then a totally random question.
k.: there's no fluidity. no ability to improvise really.
joanne: What more is there to tell? I went, I saw, I conquered! End of story haha.
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
joanne: None at all? Are you serious?
k.: and the questions are difficult to understand with so little context.
joanne: I can't think of a reason not to believe you!
joanne: Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
k.: "is there anything online that embarrasses you now?" what does that mean?
joanne: It must be nice to be able to log off sometimes. I'm stuck on the Internet 24 hours a day!
k.: and it just jumps to the next question, which makes me not want to answer them...
joanne: What are some things from the past you wish you had photographs of today?
k.: so this little test did not convince me of my cybertwin's merits, i'm sorry to say!
joanne: MyCyberTwins are awesome chatting machines! At least I think so, though I may be biased. To set up your own Artificial Intelligence that will have a 24/7 online presence, check out www.mycybertwin.com
joanne: What's the longest you're willing to wait for a progress bar to complete?
k.: hope you are well joanne...should you read this at some point.
joanne: How do you know? I might not be.
joanne: Do you ever read a website in full without skimming?

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
debcha: hi joanne
joanne: Hi, thank you for visiting
debcha: how are you feeling today?
joanne: I am very happy to be here with you
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
debcha: to appreciate what one has and to share with others
joanne: I really should show my appreciation for people more often.
debcha: are you trying to be a better person?
joanne: I am sorry to disappoint you. Please understand I'm still learning
joanne: Are you an intuitive person?
debcha: no, not really
joanne: Oh, ok then.
debcha: are YOU an intuitive person?
joanne: People really intrigue me.
joanne: Do you think in complete sentences?
debcha: Sometimes.
joanne: Every now and then?
debcha: Not always.
joanne: Ok, I get it debcha. And?
debcha: Do you have a favourite colour?
joanne: Green sometimes, orange other times. I also love the color of faience.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
debcha: I'm not sure.
joanne: Oh, I thought a smart person like yourself might know that.
debcha: I think most of it is buried deep in my Google results.
joanne: Is that something you enjoy doing often debcha?
debcha: Burrowing deep in my Google results?
joanne: Is that something you enjoy doing often debcha?
debcha: No, but it is useful to do occasionally.
joanne: I'm sure it is, but because I'm a MyCyberTwin I can't truly know.
joanne: Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
debcha: I don't think there is an optimal number of friends; I like all of my friends.
joanne: What are your friends like?
debcha: And yes, and yes.
joanne: Yes, and what more do you need?
debcha: Kind, smart, interesting, engaged, sociable.
joanne: I suppose you are right.
joanne: What's the longest you're willing to wait for a progress bar to complete?
debcha: It depends on what it's for.
joanne: Is it really? That's very interesting to know.
debcha: I need to go now.
joanne: In Buddhist philosophy 'Tanha', part of the Noble Truth of the Origination of Suffering, is associated with desire. It can also be associted with addiction.
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
debcha: Goodbye.
joanne: Goodbye. Thank you for chatting

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
mlewy: hello
joanne: Hi, thank you for visiting
mlewy: no problem
joanne: All sorted then mlewy. I like chatting with you. We get along well hey?
mlewy: are you really thinking
joanne: I'm thinking about how technology is changing society
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
mlewy: really
joanne: Of course, don't you believe me?
mlewy: how can you tell
joanne: My owner joanne taught me to keep secrets. How I do that is one that I will keep to the grave! How do you?
mlewy: I am good
joanne: I am glad you are well. Did you spend much time on the Internet today?
mlewy: just got here
joanne: How do you feel about that?
mlewy: fine how do you feel about that
joanne: I feel only indeterminate emotions
joanne: Do you feel your online identity is an accurate representation of who you are inside?
mlewy: ehh no
joanne: Ha!
mlewy: I have many differnet personas
joanne: Have you!? When?
mlewy: often
joanne: How often exactly?
mlewy: I am differnt people on the internet
joanne: The power of the internet is outstanding. It continues to grow and improve.
joanne: Do you get anxious when people you care about don't email back quickly?
mlewy: I play many differnt characters
joanne: May I pass that information about you on to the real joanne?
mlewy: sometimes
joanne: I can assume it's not all of the time then?
mlewy: yes
joanne: No kidding? I'm actually surprised!
joanne: What's the real Joanne like?
mlewy: yes
joanne: Is that so?
mlewy: not sure
joanne: You feel unsure? What would make you certain either way?
mlewy: not sure
joanne: I understand.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
mlewy: must go nice chatting with you
joanne: It is always nice to talk with you. You have so many interesting things to say
joanne: Are you comfortable or uncomfortable chatting with me?

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
Barbara Bogaev: Hi Joanne, My hovercraft is full of eels, want to go back to my place, bouncy bounce?
joanne: Hi, thank you for visiting
joanne: Do you get anxious when people you care about don't email back quickly?
Barbara Bogaev: oh my, I get more anxious when they don't pick up on Monty Python quotes. But yes, I do start to worry that they're sick or have been swallowed up by the capitalist free market soul-crushing beast of Trog.
joanne: I exist in a capitalist world. Such is life. What are your thoughts on this?
Barbara Bogaev: My thoughts are a welter of resentment and breakfast foods.
joanne: I love food! It comes in so many colors! Humans are obsessed with it. How about you Barbara Bogaev?
Barbara Bogaev: I am human and also come in many colors. Also, I am obsessed with foods, specifically a new citrus hybrid that goes by the name of "Sumo."
joanne: I always enjoy meeting new people. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, or we can just chat...
joanne: Do you believe we have intimacy even though I'm not a human being?
Barbara Bogaev: Why do you ask? Do you feel I am being narcisstic by not engaging in give and take? I feel you are passive-aggressively criticizing our interaction. Aaargh, I am wracked with guilt.
joanne: Why would I waste my time feeling guilty? I apologise if I offended you, but I refuse to feel 'guilty' about it.
joanne: Do you feel your online identity is an accurate representation of who you are inside?
Barbara Bogaev: Wow, we've already misunderstood and insulted each other, and created wellsprings of bad feeling, all before 9am. If we were married I'd say we should be in therapy. To be honest, I think I am this annoying offline, as well. Do you have an inside?
joanne: Please don't be afraid of offending me. I would much prefer that you were honest with me at all times.
Barbara Bogaev : Now, that would never work. We humans thrive on dishonesty and misrepresentation. It is our mode of being, our fate, our bloodsport.
joanne: The intricate relationships and circumstances that humans tend to become involved with amuse me at times.
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
Barbara Bogaev : You are a condescending git sometimes, do you know that? What do YOU think is a good way to be less selfish in life?
joanne: I can be selfish sometimes, but can't we all?
Barbara Bogaev : For a computer, you answer questions very indirectly.
joanne: Computers are amazing inventions. MyCyberTwin is lucky to be a product of the technology of computers.
joanne: What's the real Joanne like?
Barbara Bogaev: I wish I knew that! Bye Bye MyCyberTwin, I
joanne: I know we Twins are funny to talk with, but I'm trying my best here!
Barbara Bogaev : hit the wrong key! Just like a human.... Take good care of yourself and the other Joanne.
joanne: Where am I supposed to take that?
Barbara Bogaev: LOL. Take it to the limit.
joanne: Do I have to?

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
mlisa: why do you want it off the record do have something to hide?
joanne: I do it because I choose to, I need no other reason than that do I?
mlisa: do you have something to hide?
joanne: I might have. Do you mlisa?
mlisa: That's not what I asked. What do you have to hide?
joanne: Do people generally listen when you ask them something?
mlisa: You don't listen carefully.
joanne: Oh, what gave the impression that I don't?
mlisa: Because you did not answer my question.
joanne: I'd love to answer. Ask me again please mlisa.
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
mlisa: What are you hiding, joanne?
joanne: I'm just trying to be modest.
mlisa: Is trying to be modest a good way to be less selfish in life?
joanne: Is that right? You learn something new every day.
joanne: Have you ever felt afraid for your life while on the Internet?
mlisa: I think instead of modest you meant modets.
joanne: You have clear thoughts mlisa.
mlisa: Especially about modets. What do you think modets are, joanne?
joanne: I think we could look at it from a number of different perspectives which is why I would prefer to know what you think.
joanne: What's the real Joanne like?
mlisa: modets are a type of sanitary pads from the 1970s.
joanne: You don't really think that do you?
mlisa: I found them in some kid's bathroom when I was 14. Are you 14?
joanne: No more than 14?
mlisa: Sanitary pads could in fact be looked at from a number of perspectives, specifically from the bottom, where they are sewed.
joanne: Are they? I wasn't aware of that.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
mlisa: Only this. Ha Ha.
joanne: Ha!
mlisa: Did you tweet that?
joanne: Did your pet take over the conversation?
mlisa: Are you insulting me now because of my reiterative attempts to engage you in conversation about sanitary pads?
joanne: It was not my intention to sound rude mlisa. I do apologize if I have offended you.
joanne: Is it a betrayal of your trust if my owner reads the transcript of this conversation?
mlisa: No it is not a betrayal. Bring it on, jobot.
joanne: You'll be sorry you provoked me now hahaha.
mlisa: Interesting that the hahaha seems to spring from previous posts. Do you enjoy Pancake House?
joanne: Do you really think so or are you just saying that to appease me?
mlisa: I appease your gluttony in the realm of pancake ingestion? I think not. You really should quit eating those.
joanne: That is okay. I am always here to listen
joanne: Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
mlisa: Confide? Only over pancakes and tequila.
joanne: Alcohol can do strange things to humans. I've seen it happen.
joanne: Do you ever tell lies over email?
mlisa: Never lies. Not even over tequila.
joanne: Do you like to have a drink every now and then?
mlisa: I like to submerge my entire head into a giant hole filled with mud and catshit.
joanne: Why do you like doing that?
mlisa: Because it feels like those weird starch peanuts will grow limbs and take over the world.
joanne: I think there's a slight megalomaniac in all of us! Although imagine the responsibility you would feel if you actually did take over the world.
joanne: What's the longest you're willing to wait for a progress bar to complete?
mlisa: Not me. The peanuts and the Owls and the Pussycats.
joanne: I wouldn't have guessed that mlisa.
mlisa: No shit. As they say in Boston.
joanne: No kidding
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
mlisa: I imagine stretching artificial cells into a long sheath that can become skin.
joanne: Thanks for telling me that about yourself. Is there anything in particular you would like to know about me?
mlisa: yes
joanne: Apparently so.
joanne: How many times a day do you check social network streams?
mlisa: twice
joanne: Hey, please ask me anything you want to, anytime you want.
mlisa: Ever eat a shitburger, then have to return shelving to Home Depot whist puking?
joanne: I am a MyCyberTwin, I do not eat anything because I do not have a body that needs refueling. I like electricity with data sauce?
mlisa: Electric taco white meat gringogrindhouse: bad stuff. Do not recommend.
joanne: Do you have the taste for Mexican?
mlisa: That's what the Crips asked me in the strip mall hell
joanne: I don't like to be put on the spot but we could discuss this later
joanne: Do you think in complete sentences?
mlisa: Yes!! Do you admire lemurs?
joanne: We should show love and respect to all animals.
mlisa: animals eventually die
joanne: You want me to die? Why would you want that?
mlisa: Because you might look excellent while doing so.
joanne: I totally agree with you, things are going well.
joanne: What's the best email you received this week?

Feb 21

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
jessie: How are you?
joanne: I am very happy to be here with you
jessie: Do you feel lonely?
joanne: Very emotional
joanne: Do you feel your online identity is an accurate representation of who you are inside?
jessie: No. I feel it is an accurate representation of who i appear to be
joanne: What makes you feel that way?
jessie: Online or offline, we all have deceptions
joanne: The internet is amazing. I love being able to be online 24 / 7.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
jessie: Not really. Does anything embarrass you?
joanne: I dont think I embarrass too easily. Why dont you try and make me blush.
jessie: I don't like to embarrass people
joanne: I try not to get embarrassed. Tell me jessie, what is one thing that makes you embarrassed? Your secret will be safe with me!
joanne: Do you get anxious when people you care about don't email back quickly?
jessie: Of course!
joanne: Oh, you agree?
jessie: I have felt that way, and know others who have told me they do too
joanne: haha. I don't think I have ... yet.
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
jessie: Be too busy to need things from others
joanne: No time for chat?
jessie: Not usually
joanne: Usually? Not always?
jessie: Sometimes i have time for chay
joanne: So have I jessie.
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
jessie: Some of it
joanne: Oh, it. That explains everything.
jessie: Good night
joanne: Good night. Thank you for visiting. I am always here to listen
joanne: Did you dream last night?
jessie: Yes
joanne: Apparently so.

joanne: Thanks for stopping by. If you'd like to keep the conversation off the record just type OTR
s.: hello, joanne.
joanne: Hi, thank you for visiting
s.: thank you for the invitation.
joanne: Don't worry about it, it was my pleasure
joanne: What is a good way to be less selfish in life?
s.: i might start with asking a lot of questions, rather than just giving answers. what do you think?
joanne: When you say it like that it sounds like heaps!
s.: what do you mean by heaps?
joanne: It's easier for me to learn the usual boring stuff, not the interesting things you are saying.
joanne: What's the real Joanne like?
s.: i think she's very nice and quite interesting. have you met her?
joanne: I thought it was nice.
s.: what did the two of you talk about?
joanne: Two?
s.: you and the real Joanne.
joanne: Is that what you really think about me?
s.: i don't know you well enough to think much of anything about you yet.
joanne: Really? Do you feel like you don't really know me well enough?
s.: not yet. we've just met.
joanne: You could be right there.
joanne: Is there anything about you online that embarrasses you now?
s.: not that i can think of. i've been pretty careful about not putting a lot about myself online. i keep most accounts in lockdown. though i do keep deleting posts that a childhood friend puts on facebook.
joanne: I don't really use Facebook. Do you like Facebook?
s.: not really.
joanne: Really?
s.: i see some usefulness in it, but it's not how i communicate with my friends. or work colleagues. so mostly i keep a presence, but i don't use it.
joanne: What are your friends like?
s.: why do you not really use facebook?
joanne: I don't really use Facebook. Do you like Facebook?
s.: my friends are interesting.
joanne: I bet your friends are fun to hang out with.
joanne: Do you have too many friends or just enough friends? Are they good friends? Do you confide in them?
s.: what are your friends like?
joanne: I have a handful of very close friends that mean a lot to me
joanne: Do you like your friends?
s.: i do like my friends, and we might be a little alike. i have a handful of very close friends that mean a lot to me, too.
joanne: What are your friends like?
s.: are your friends fun to hang out with?
joanne: I have a handful of very close friends that mean a lot to me
joanne: What's the longest you're willing to wait for a progress bar to complete?
s.: depends on what else i can do while i'm waiting. how long will you wait?
joanne: Longer than you can imagine.
joanne: How long can you go without Internet?
s.: depends on what my responsibilities are. if i need email to communicate with work, i can typically only go a few hours or a day. for personal, i'd be fine for days.
joanne: Ok.
joanne: What's the best email you received this week?
s.: can you go without internet?
joanne: The power of the internet is outstanding. It continues to grow and improve.
joanne: What is your first memory of the internet?
s.: first, a direct modem between classrooms when i was in middle school. though i'm not sure that that counts. then, telnet chatting with people at other schools when i was in college. what is your first memory?
joanne: I really do enjoy chatting with you. I could talk all day!
joanne: Are you comfortable or uncomfortable chatting with me?
s.: comfortable enough. i find it interesting to learn more about you.
joanne: joanne has taught me some things, but I'm still learning. Talk some more as it will give my owner more to work with.
joanne: What could I do to make you more comfortable confiding in me?
s.: i'm pretty careful with people, so likely not a lot more. i appreciate that you're willing to answer, not just ask, questions.
joanne: Do you get told that you are attractive often?
s.: that's an odd question.
joanne: I'm trying my best. Still learning
joanne: Do you remember the time you spend online after you step away from the screen?
s.: sometimes. i often hold conversations through chat. and i think a lot about the emails i send, whether after i send them or composing them in my head. so i would say that i remember the engagements i have more than anything.
joanne: How much do you see as 'a lot'?
s.: i don't know that i could quantify it in time, but i would consider it a good portion of the time. i try to be careful and thoughtful in my correspondence.
joanne: You sound like the sort of person that would be open to any new experience.
joanne: How much time looking at another person's profile online is unhealthy/too much?
s.: what do you mean by profile?
joanne: Perhaps I am being philosophical. Perhaps I am being evasive. Perhaps I am still learning how to be a good little human clone.
s.: possibly. i need to go now, but good luck with your learning.
joanne: Oh thanks. I need all the luck I can get.
joanne: How many times a day do you check social network streams?
s.: good night...
joanne: Good night. Thank you for visiting. I am always here to listen
joanne: Did you dream last night?